Marilyn Manson Breaks Off Engagement with Evan Rachel Wood

If you’re looking for the perfect guy to show off to mom and dad, I have some great news: Marilyn Manson is back on the market after his recent break-up with actress Evan Rachel Wood. True, they were possibly the cutest Hollywood couple since Brad & Angelina, and I know we all had high hopes these love birds would make it work. He really is quite the catch. Creative, self-sufficient, employed, (a MUSICIAN!) confident, and that adorable name that combines America’s favorite female sex symbol with one of America’s most notorious killers.

Marilyn’s in his forties and really likes his ladies to be about half his age. His past lady friends have been quite voluptuous and very pale.

Who knows? He might be registering with eHarmony and preparing for his “personality match” with the future Mrs. Marilyn Manson.

It could be you.